Emily Co.

Focus + Energy Levels

Our recommendation is to let students work for as long as they can focus. Let them take breaks whenever they feel they need to. If this lesson is particularly boring for them, perhaps let them have a snack while they listen to the video lecture. You can read more advice for improving attention span, tracking productivity levels, and self-regulating energy levels and focus by clicking here.

We also recommend setting up an Awards and Rewards system which you can learn about by clicking here and that will help them work on the lesson more efficiently.

Young children are more willing to take time outs and the space is more effective if the designated area is set up with fun and relaxing activities. It’s okay for them to do something entertaining and positive while in time out- such as coloring, listening to music, or mindfully playing with sensory-soothing toys.

When to Use Time-Outs

These activities will redirect them into relaxing their minds and bodies. Time outs are recommended when they need to take a step back from a situation and calm down and should not be portrayed as a punishment- they’re a relaxing break from what is upsetting them so they can feel better, in order to think things through. Ultimately the goal is for them to get what they want…by advocating for themselves in a way that is kind and considerate towards others.

For young children ages 0-10, time outs should last the same amount of minutes as their age. So 2 minute time outs for a 2 year old, 5 mins for a 5 year old, and so on. Accompanying consequences (for example, losing a privilege) should be for the rest of the day/1-2 days maximum. Losing consequences for longer (such as an entire week) loses their attention. It can also can create a vicious cycle for some children when they lose their privileges again and again and hardly ever have them. (This can make them feel like a bad kid.) Shorter durations for time outs and consequences are easier for kids to handle while still teaching the lesson. Setting up a reward system to reinforce good behavior has been shown to be more effective than punishment, and we talk about that later in this article.

Recommended Supplies + Conversations

Items you could put in their time-out space:

• kinetic sandbox
• picture books
• nontoxic crayons, blank paper, and coloring pages
• playdough and nontoxic slimes
• an aquarium with pet fish to watch
• an essential oil diffuser with rose and lavender essential oils

And have a talk with your kid afterwards. Ask questions like:

• Why were you upset?
• What did you feel in your body when you were upset?
• Which emotion do you think that was?
• And explain to them in straightforward words how they could’ve phrased what they needed to say to meet their objectives.

Why Rewards are More Effective than Punishments

Behavioral science indicates that positive reinforcement—or rewards—is generally more effective than punishment in shaping behavior because it fosters intrinsic motivation and promotes the acquisition of desired social skills, rather than merely suppressing unwanted actions. When children receive positive feedback, it activates the brain’s dopaminergic reward pathways, which reinforces the connection between a specific behavior and a favorable outcome, thereby increasing the likelihood of that behavior being repeated. Conversely, punishment often induces fear, anxiety, or avoidance behaviors, which can impede learning and damage the caregiver-child relationship. According to research published in the Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, positive reinforcement is fundamental in teaching new behaviors, whereas punishment only functions to decrease the frequency of existing ones without teaching the child what they should do instead.

Furthermore, relying heavily on punishment can create a “vicious cycle” where the child fails to develop internal regulatory mechanisms because they are only focused on avoiding the punitive consequence. Studies in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry highlight that consistent use of punitive disciplinary methods is associated with higher rates of aggression and lower levels of moral internalization. In contrast, reward systems, when implemented with clear communication and consistent expectations, empower children to understand the positive impact of their choices. This fosters a sense of autonomy and self-efficacy, helping children learn to self-regulate their emotions and actions in anticipation of positive social or tangible outcomes, rather than out of fear of retribution.

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